Thursday, February 11, 2010

Reflections on Love

A while back, I wrote one of my favorite posts: about my wife Margie and what I've learned from her in terms of what makes a relationship work out. On this our 26th anniversary, I thought I'd share a few perspectives on love:

* "Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

* "Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." - Carl Jung

* "Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are." - Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve

* "Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde

* "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." - Elie Wiesel

* "Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Franklin P. Jones

* "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa

* "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning



Adam said...


"Show me a person's choice for life partner, and I will show you who that person is..."
~Dr Brett Steenbarger

Thank you for helping us get to know Margie so well.

Adam Sterling.

Jorge said...

Dr. Steenbarger,

Those are beautiful thoughts.

Congrats to both of you and best wishes for the next 26!

All the best,


Radek Dobias, H.B.Sc., M.W.S., B.Ed. said...

Love can be held as an exclusive affair between two individuals....


Love can be the ever-present context within which we breathe, move, and relate to life. Love can change into Lovingness, an energy that one has become. Thus, it becomes a constant experience of Reality, with healing, compassion and joy as its main modes.

Thank you for sharing your pictures and your joy, Dr. B.

madi said...

Congratulations to you and Margie. Seeing your beautiful smiles together makes me feel real good.

My wife and I have been married for seven years. I once heard something that has been one of the secrets to our success...

"Remember, when you are in an argument, you have one of two choices:
1. You can choose to be right.
2. You can choose LOVE."

May you and Margie have a long lifetime of love, joy, and good fortune.

SSK said...

Happy Anniversary! Best wishes to you and your wife, and the kids! I am just a couple of years behind you! It is not very often folks can boost a few decades of marriage! Life is good, and the grass is greenest on my side of the fence! Again, Congrats! Best, SSK

Scott Trader said...


You and Margie are like family to me...

Thank you for sharing so much!

Best wishes,


Soberba Insônia said...


You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.

All the best, Doc.

A. Blum said...

Contrats Doc!
You are good man.


Sam said...

Not all people have partners. I do think that saying that "Show me a persons choice for life partner and I will show you who that person is" is a bridge to far. I love reading your blog and I greatly respect most of what you say but I believe that this comment contains some self delusion. It also shows some lack of love because as jung said where there is love there is no will to power.

Panama said...

Hi Brett
My Very Best Wishes to you.

I have a query really, not a comment. I've been searching your past posts for one on advice you gave when you were a psychologist at a college/university. It was advice on finding the best partner. At the time I forwarded the link to each on my university enrolled boys, but the link failed. The boys are still in school and I'd still really like to offer a bit of advice in this regard, but cannot find the post.

You see, I have a very good relationship with my wife, but I'm not sure I can express why or even if I could achieve the same success again, but I believe it has made a wonderful difference in my life. It was very good advice to all at a challenging time of life. I hope each of them can make excellent choices in a partner.

If I'm asking too much, no worries, but I would appreciate the link.

Thanks for everything

The Financial Philosopher said...

Dr. Brett: I am impressed, but not surprised, that a thinking, quantitative-minded individual such as yourself (or the way I perceive you) can have a balance of feeling and qualitative philosophies of life.

Perhaps it is your psychology background, lessons as a trader, who you are, or a combination of all three that allow you to see that there are some things, such as emotion, that are best separated from science -- from quantification, categorization, or measurement.

"The emotions aren't always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action." ~ William James