Sunday, November 15, 2009

Dr. Brett's Theory of Romantic Relationships

Relationships are the ultimate mirrors: we experience ourselves through others and their responses to us. Romantic relationships mirror our deepest experiences of ourselves, sometimes for better; other times for worse.

For that reason, every spouse is a soulmate. Show me a person's choice for life partner, and I will show you who that person is (not necessarily who they would like to be or think they are).

A good relationship is one in which each partner is proud to accept the implications of the theory. A bad relationship is one in which partners cannot bear what they see in each other's mirrors.

Successful relationships reflect values and strengths; unsuccessful ones reflect needs and deficits. The least successful ones reflect unacknowledged needs and deficits.

When a partner grows, solid relationships celebrate and flourish. Fragile ones are threatened. Successful relationships grow together; unsuccessful ones grow apart.