In her remarkable book Gentle Power, Emilia Elisabet Lahti describes how true leadership requires an integration of strength and power on one hand and love and gentleness on the other. The combination of these qualities creates a trait known in Finland as sisu. It is through sisu that we are able to persevere under challenging conditions, transcending fatigue and frustration to find our emotional and spiritual second wind. A while back, I wrote an article pertinent to sisu, citing the mixed martial arts accomplishments of Kyle Maynard, who was born without arms and legs. Interestingly, Maynard practiced for his bouts by mentally rehearsing all his anxieties and fears in advance. By training himself to face his greatest fears, he built his mental strength.
Lahti would view this as an excellent example of gentle power: facing adversity, but in a manner that is supportive and constructive. In the Gentle Power book, she describes her incredible 50-day running journey across New Zealand, in which she ran the equivalent of a marathon each day. She was accompanied by a single trainer and otherwise faced each day in solitary contemplation. On the twelfth day of the journey, she was overcome with pain and swelling. As she ran, the insight came to her, "The pain ends when you make it end". She realized that, all her life, it had been easier for her to be hard on herself than merciful. That insight led her to take a break from the run, allow herself to heal, and ultimately finish the route. She found a way to persevere: by supporting herself.
How relevant this idea is for all of us who participate in performance activities. Our very achievement orientation and desire to win make it easier for us to be hard on ourselves than supportive. The idea is not to give up on our quest; nor is it to allow our quest to drive ourselves into the ground. Only through the sisu of gentle power can we find ways to move forward that also take care of us. As Lahti points out, this is tremendously important for leadership. As a team, we must push ourselves, but in ways that preserve teamwork and the bonds of mutual support.
Our life is our ultramarathon quest. Whether and how we finish will depend upon our power--and our gentleness.
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