Tuesday, December 26, 2017

The Most Powerful Change Technique Available to Us

The more we focus on our bad habits, the more we reinforce their dominance in our minds.  The person who tries diet after diet after diet to lose weight doesn't gain weight because of a lack of focus on weight loss.  The trader who overtrades is the person who talks most about discipline.  But focusing on a negative can never reinforce the appropriate positives.

This is an important principle.  We never actually replace bad habits and behavior patterns.  We find something more valuable and special than the undesired habits and patterns and fill ourselves with love for that.  The alcoholic doesn't simply kick drinking.  He finds support and a higher power in AA and ends up loving that more than his drinking.

In my recent Forbes article, I emphasize how our daily activities build or tear down our character traits.  When we love something more than a negative habit pattern, we so feed the love that we starve the negatives we want to change.  The trader who gives within a team and receives the giving of teammates is so invested in the team's success that individual poor trading patterns fall by the wayside.

I have gone to trading conferences and discussion groups that encourage sharing of ideas.  Invariably, the attendees are reluctant to share.  They simply want to take learning from others.  Ironically, in seeking help, the reinforce the very ego-involvement that underlies their trading problems.  They are so consumed with the identities of troubled traders that they cannot see themselves as having value to share with others. One reason AA is successful is that it provides troubled people with the direct experience of being of value to others.  Loving helping others reinforces their best qualities.

Feed your strengths and you'll starve your weaknesses.  Pursue what you love and you'll naturally overcome what you hate.