Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Learning To Love Dealing With Your Haters

Perhaps you've heard the definition of a hater:  Someone who watches you walk on water and then announces to the world you're not able to swim.  The sad reality for all who aspire and achieve is that we occasionally deal with people who are threatened by the best of who we are and what we do.

A great friend is one who is sensitive enough to be there for you when you're down and secure enough to celebrate when you're soaring.  Haters are never secure, happy people.  They may show a great deal of interest when you're down, reveling in your setbacks with false concern, but they're remarkably silent when you have cause for celebration.

I deeply appreciate the trader who recently wrote to me about the topic of integrity.  He had heard a false rumor that I was fired from a hedge fund where I had worked--and that my firing was supposedly for reasons of improper behavior.  It meant a lot to me that the trader chose to share this with an email labeled "private and confidential"I let him know that I still worked at the fund, that I remained on good terms with the traders and managers, and that indeed I have never been fired (or disciplined for impropriety) on any job I had held.

Still, someone, somewhere had felt the need to start and spread a rumor.  Not because I had done anything wrong, but because I had achieved a measure of personal and professional success.

It's sad but true:  If you succeed in your trading, if you find happiness and fulfillment in your relationships and your career, if you build a loving and caring family, not everyone will be happy for you.  Some will try to bring you down.

Haters hate what they do not have.  They resent what they cannot themselves achieve.

So how can you learn to love dealing with haters?  

The greatest response you can give is to not allow yourself to be consumed with hate and rededicate yourself to the best of what has brought you to this point.  You double down on caring, loving, working hard, and being the best person you can be.  When I heard the rumor from the trader, I smiled, told the story to Margie, and quickly scheduled pro bono time to help a young professional in need.  I took extra steps to help my sick cat and get her a specialized, hard-to-find medication that could ease her symptoms.  The best way to do well is to do good.  The world is far too beautiful a place--and far too filled with opportunities to do well and do good--to be wasted in hate and envy.  You're truly in a good place when haters redouble your love of life.

Further Reading: A Unique View on Why Traders "Sabotage" Themselves