Why did he blow up? The profits he was making weren't enough. He needed to make more, because he wanted to be more. He wasn't enough as he was.
What killed his trading was an illusion: an image of success that ever receded beyond his grasp. Long time readers might recognize this video. It's about the illusions in life that try to change you and what happens when you take great risks to become a different person.
Look hard at the final image of the mechanical doll in the video. That is the trader I knew.
Trading can be an expression of self esteem; it cannot substitute for a self. To change yourself is noble, but only shattered dreams come from efforts to change your self. You will succeed by becoming more of the person you are at your best, not by overreaching in vain hopes of transformation.
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The Doll Face Trader
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The Doll Face Trader