Here is where being a practicing psychologist is different from being a trading coach. A trading coach typically tries to help you with your trading. A trading coach is invested in you continuing your trading because that continues your work with them. A psychologist is focused on your health and well-being and that may or may not include trading.
Suppose we replace the term "trading" with the term "drinking". A person could say, "I've tried to have a good time drinking and I want to go out with my friends. I've had too much to drink at times and so I set rules to limit and control my drinking, but lately I've broken all my rules. I wrecked my car and lost my job. Should I stop drinking entirely"?
Well, that puts our trading problem in a new light. We can become dependent on anything that produces big highs--and that dependence can create deep lows. Indeed, our dependence on trading can create traumatic consequences for us, as this post points out. In the case of drinking, it's clear that we need to take two steps: 1) stop drinking; 2) get help for the traumas our drinking has created. That first step of stopping drinking and getting help is always the hardest. That's why people with drinking problems who have hit bottom often reach out to groups such as AA--for support as well as advice and encouragement. Connecting with others in healthy ways replaces the drinking.
So, if we've been trading impulsively and addictively and breaking all our rules, should we continue to trade with ever more vows of "discipline"? Of course not. We need to give ourselves time to heal from the traumatic consequences, and we need to find others who can support us in that healing. Only after that period of healing has occurred should we consider returning to markets in a different and healthier way. The goal is not to trade. The goal is to live a happy, healthy, fulfilling life.
The first step is the hardest, but it can also give you energy, because it can be the first step toward a new life.
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