Friday, February 13, 2015

An Enduring Formula for Life Success

I'm writing this from the library of the Oheka Castle on Long Island.  The Gatsby-like stay is part of our 31st wedding anniversary; a special way of commemorating a special event.

What I've learned in 31 years of marriage is that relationships don't stay special unless you nurture their specialness.  Relationships built on the neediness of each member are so self absorbed that partners cannot truly perceive the specialness of the other.  But specialness, once perceived, has to stay visible to stay alive.  As I've alluded in a different context, love doesn't die--it has to be killed.  And what kills love as much as hate is disuse.  Marriages become so routine that they no longer remain special.

Hence castles and warm cocktail toasts and snuggling in bed with purring cats you've rescued.  It's part of what makes life special--and interesting--and worthwhile.

The same lesson holds for careers.  Once they become routine, they become jobs.  If you're not learning and developing--if you're not challenged and stimulated--you eventually fall out of love with your life's work.  You're most likely to thrive in marriage by staying in love.  You're most likely to thrive in trading by staying infatuated with markets.  It's not enough to love what you do.  You have to actively keep that love alive.  That's what leads to 31 years of fulfillment.

Further Reading:  The Spouse of a Trader